Pamaavat Movie Review | Rename it to Ranveer the Khilji?

Padmaavat Movie Review
If you're not aware of the entire controversy related to this movie, changing it from Padmavati to Padmaavat, death threats, and a billion other things, check out doveranalyst's previous article, here.

I saw 'Padmaavat' the first day but it was so disappointing that I couldn't bring myself to sit and pen down a review. Why, you ask?







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Everything you need to know about Padmaavat


And here's a short backstory, if you will:

  • Political parties instigate Rajput community to be outraged (that's the cool thing to be, these days), over a non-existent lust dream sequence and mid-riff exposure in Ghoomar dance.(I kept telling you, "It's not there!"
  • The idea to oppose this, however, was provoking people to cut the actress's nose, demand some heads to be cut off for a monetary prize.
  • Film fraternity showed yet again that unity is a little too important, you see?
  • India proved how gullible we are
  • Media proved sensationalism is all we want. (Again)
  • Karni Sena (opposers, vandalizers) proved what a fool they made of themselves when the whole Padmaavat movie (when finally released), spoke only of how great Rajputs are
  • VFX team proved how talented we are in digitally clothed bellies! (only a side of which was visible earlier). We actually managed to make the VFX look more real than the real fabric used in Padmaavat.
If you still didn't get it, this was the joke of the century:
So-called "Rajputs" wanted to kill people that kept boasting about how great the Rajputs are throughout a torturous 2-hour tale of Khilji.

Deepika Padukone paid more than Khilji

It is amazing that Deepika Padukone, being a female, managed to be paid more than her male counterparts in the history of cinema. However, after seeing the movie, tbh it should have been called Khilji instead. More on that below.

Fiction vs History

They've done an incredible job in repeatedly hammering it on us that it is fiction. Anyone with any sense would know that already. But looking at the intolerance over unity Indian climate at the moment, where everyone gets offended by everything; sense is not in abundance, for sure.

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When a creator claims a story is fictional, we take it at face value. Please do. Nobody is claiming it is history. Having said that Asoka did hurt our self-respect. We didn't go kill Shahrukh Khan for that, though.

Shabana Azmi says it best: "India is one country where people from different centuries co-exist at the SAME TIME".
You wanna see multiple dimensions? Visit India.

If a mid-riff was a huge scandalous issue for certain people, Kareena's fantasy character was something people still don't understand never existed in Kalinga.
How, exactly how can people be so angry over mid-riffs when we tolerate Hate Story 4?
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And, hey, Padmaavat is one movie to the list that you can watch with your parents, and does not have a single kissing scene. Good job at that!
Anyways, we were awe-struck on how real the digitally clothed tummies looked. You couldn't tell it was fake.

The cloth looked way more real than Deepika Padukone's unibrow ever did on the big screen on 3D. 

Maybe you can't tell, cuz you never had a unibrow or you never went beyond your phone screen.
And if you're a woman reading this, "Girl, how blessed are you?"

There's so much makeup can do and with that kind of money spent on costumes and jewellery, not sure why they didn't care much about the eyebrows. Or physics. If you look at the much hyped and 'way more anticipated than would be normal' Jauhar scene in Padmaavat, can someone please explain it to me, how, exactly how was she not supposed to sweat with so much heat all around?
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Deepika Padukone is Fire.

Well, not really.


I'm sorry if I'm breaking your bubble, but when you're that close to the fire, your make up melts. And after that protective layer melts, your skin swells. Your eyes can't actually stare into the fire, even though the director said so. Your face turns a beautifully coated layer of black. Ever made kajal at home? Yeah. Yeah. Now, you get it, thick head!



The obvious flaws in Padmaavat


You're supposed to sweat in all that swag of walking into the fire. And I'd have bought it if it was a Sajid Nadiadwala or Rohit Shetty movie (read: leave your brains at home, in the fridge movie). But this is a Sanjay Leela Bhansali movie. I know! How? How on earth can Sanjay Leela Bhansali, (who looks at the exact symmetry in jewellery and mascara coatings of background dancers who might even be in soft focus in a master shot), overlook some basic physics laws for the god damn main lead?

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Why was Deepika Padukone crying in Padmaavat?

Also, can someone explain to me, Deepika Padukone, who has mastered the art of acting, agree to cry in every scene? I really want to believe it wasn't her idea. If you notice every single shot of Padmaavat, there'd be only a few where she's not teary-eyed. I kid you not! Go back, you moron! Watch again.
Especially, that tota scene. I mean the man who was once the tota. I mean, the non-existent tota from the original Padmaavat book, who is now the Pandit. So, the Rajguru is meeting the 2nd queen just after their wedding. This is the very first time, the Rajguru( royal advisor), meets the new queen. He is the mentor, the guru.
He is to test the new queen Padmini's intelligence and if she's actually fit to be the queen. Padmini, however, is this cool fierce lady with a swag who's confident and not afraid even in the slightest. Even Raja Rawal Ratan Singh is absolutely confident that his choice of his 2nd queen is absolutely perfect. Padmini is going to win. And we all KNOW that.
Why on earth does she have so much liquid in her eyes while she answers each question? Was it so hard for Deepika Padukone to keep her eyes open? Was she sick? Was some smoke bothering her when she did so? Where was the production team? Why did no one care to do something about it? HOW did such an important scene make it to the final cut of Padmaavat just like that?

How can it be only me noticing this? How?

Movies are movies. And this is show business. Isn't it normal to care about what you're showing, though? Especially when the Sanjay Leela Bhansali brand had started to be the same as "perfection" and anything "expensive" and "grand".

Padmavaat Movie Review | Deepika Padukone | Ranveer Singh | Shahid Kapoor


Moving on to Padmaavat, for starters, it is incredibly tough to say Padmaavat instead of Padmavati, that everyone had been fighting about. But at least it got a release. A Sanjay Leela Bhansali movie is expected to be grand and elaborate in its sets and costumes, which Padmaavat was. Ok, we give one point in the check list.
However, with the same leading couple from Bajirao Mastani, where both Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh were together, only Ranveer Singh managed to bring out a striking difference. Padmaavat seemed like an extension of Bajirao Mastani, just with the difference in dialect, etc. It's no surprise. No one will confuse Bajirao with Khilji but many might confuse Rani Padmavati and Mastani. Think about it. Now, think about it, hard. I know, the Mallika, Aditi Rao Hydairi looked stunning and Muslim. But, the casual looks of Rani Padmini didn't do much justice.

Ranveer Singh owns Padmaavat. Singh is the only one to remember in the whole movie. Whether or not you liked Padmaavat, you liked Ranveer Singh's acting ability.


And in all the Padmaavat debates, this is an uncontested truth. A fact that no one, from no sect, caste or creed is going to question.

Isn't it funny that Khilji was played best, is one thing that unites us all?

Padmaavat is a one-line story that everyone knows. We all knew Mahabharat and Prithviraj Chauhan too. But everyone loved their serial versions and watched it as if it was a suspense thriller. If you've been following doveranalyst for a while, you know that I always support cinema and work that can pull crowds and leave them awed even if they knew the whole story!
Sadly, you don't feel content at the end of Padmvaavat. You take home, the soft zari feel of Deepika's costumes, the lingering smooth touch of that fabric. But if that is all you're taking home with you, something is terribly wrong with the story or the storyteller. If lavish ethnic/designer wedding outfit ideas, is what you're going to watch Padmaavat, you won't be disappointed at all.

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I would still say just go and watch it, only for the sake of supporting the win of cinema over feudalism. I spent 400 bucks. I feel the pain. But sometimes, you got to make these ahutis(sacrifices) even if you're not that satisfied with it.


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