How to change the mindset: Prevent crime against women

Changing 5000 years of mental conditioning in 5 days is not easy. But if we really want justice and a better tomorrow, we have to do it. Cynics and realists tell me, it is NOT possible.

But, I am taking the challenge of starting to believe that CHANGE can happen. Yes, we will bring about the change!
Research states people in asylum are much more realistic than we (so-called) normal people. Since, then I stopped being realistic. Let’s dream. Let’s dream of a better tomorrow, where there are no crimes against women. Utopian is not possible? If you cannot add to the power of the mind and the flow of the positive energy then, please, I request you, do not block it with your negative thoughts, scepticism or cynicism.
Call me insane.
I believe in a better tomorrow. I believe 5000 years of mental conditioning can change.
Lets start believing. Yes, we will CHANGE it.

Together by spreading awareness, sharing in social media, increasing the reach, we can bring a change! Positive change! Let’s do our bit. Lets deceive realism! Yes, we will.

If you are in the same team, least you can do is start believing, and spread the belief. The worst you can do is, doubt this change. So, don’t doubt. Take a leap of faith. Believe, feel and act. Think strongly in your mind with conviction. Yes, we will. We will CHANGE tomorrow. The dawn of 2013 will be better. 

It’s great to talk about it. But little do we know, what exactly should be done. We want our young brothers or our own sons, never to grow up as rapists. Yes, we will.
But, as soon as it comes to “how” to do it EXACTLY, we are all lost.
We never jotted down points when we were conditioned. We don’t know from what, how when we became what we are. How to EXACTLY “teach” someone to “respect women”!


I will improve this post. It’s rough draft now. But I’m posting it to increase reach.

I had asked many guyfriends, how I could exactly help in teaching “values” to the 13 year old slum boy I teach so that he NEVER grows up to be a rapist.
Without education, child labourers, are very vulnerable, given the environment that they stay in, the people they come in contact with, male chauvinists everywhere to teach them women are objects.


My friend Vibek said, “Learning from our very own mothers that's what and having invaluable best female friends” makes us value women. But like I said, those child labourers dont have luxury of being with their moms n all.They stay out of their homes and meet their family a few times only. But if it's your own house, you can definitely start with the women in house being treated fairly. Children learn from what they see.


Education, literacy perhaps can help, when blended with moral values every now and then. Even IIM ones are misogynists at times(read often). So, we are talking about “real education” here. Education needs redefinition. It’s not degrees. So "what" in education? I bought some moral panchatantra books but none said "respect women".

“Proper grooming! Starting from Mythology itself! Goddesses and other stories", said he.Our commenter here, says, Mythology is the cause. I say the perception of mythology as demeaning women is the cause. Let's cure the problem from the root then.Let's change the perception.As our commenter herself agreed, the fact that the destruction of Mahabharat happened because they dared demean women and not protect her brought her wrath and the curse.
So, what all should be taught in between?
    1.    The reverence to feminity:
   Worship all goddesses, The "Maa" things, Her importance, warmth and stuff.(That will help especially God-believers who already believe in God. People with less education can be easily attracted, if there’s real good story telling) 
I'd such a problem explaining why men should be polite to women! The little kid asks me that. And what answer do I give? 

But the biggest challenge is The "Maa" things have become more of mc, mf these days...One needs to portray the “mother” with lot of love , warmth and respect again.
EDIT: Today if a major art house begins it's motivational round with Ma chod do... Where every man today in contemporary India addresses his friend as Bhenchod... 
When the idea of appreciation for a Death Metal band is screeching Bhenchod!!! MADARCHOD!!! where are we going? 

I'm asking you. Yes you. If you think its cool to change the meaning of a word and say I don't really mean it, I ask you why do you say things you don't mean? Wasn't there vocabulary to say the emotions that you now convey with these? 

When I ask men can you fuck your mother or sister, they are outraged. They say it's a different emotion. They look at them differently.  Why is it then so easy to say Go,  fuck your mom you mother fucker?  How have these terms of ripping their clothes apart and raping your own mothers and sisters or your friend's become so cool to say on a daily basis?? 
Imagine the child that grows up today seeing this. Can you be sure your own son won't rape your wife? 
How??? 
Popular language and culture make things. Ok. We have become so regressive that saying Betichod is OK. To consider raping a little baby born out of your own flesh and blood lying on your arms the very first day of her life is OK??? 
Next time out of habit you use these words,  give it a thought.  JUST ONE THOUGHT. You never know WHO IS LISTENING. 

One big challenge here, is to make the child believe that real women on real earth are divine and command his RESPECT. It should not be like you go worship a stone idol of Durga, come home and rape your own wife.NO. 

In smaller doable things in real life…, touch your mausi(mother’s sister), aai(grandma), pisi nani's(bua-father’s sister) feet.


2.   Importance of women :
In the words of a man: How she gives birth and produces Life!!Women are living Gods practically!I mean hell yaar - Life grows in them" !!(Glad, to hear these words from a man)
She takes the pain of 9 months, nurturing a baby, a life in her……she gives the baby her blood…..her care, love……
When a girl comes to her in laws, leaving her family behind she embraces the guy's life. She takes care of two families always. Hence, she’s called “duhita”(du=two, hita=welfare provider), She is the reason for prosperity in both houses. She practically turns the bricks and mortar into a "Home". With her Pooja, all the household chores, preparing kids for school, etc she sacrifices every bit of her time for her family’s welfare.

I agree with Pragyan here. His fb note “SORRY WE RAPED YOU” says, rapist is made from day 1 when he believes it is the mom's DUTY to make food for him, clean his clothes, etc. If she doesn’t cook, abuse her……becomes the mentality.So, that should never be there.

It was great when Vibek said, “Without you girls, there would be no world to live in!”

We used to take the pledge in school everyday, “All men and women are equal”. But all don’t have the privilege to go to school and I don’t know what schools teach these days. It is our duty to share our knowledge.

Even traditionally speaking in a patriarchal set up, A man earns money. But it is woman who takes care of that money, like distribution and stuff . She manages the house. And today she even contributes to bringing home the money.

2.   Introduce the ladies first concept.
Having set the stage for why women are so special and should be treated with care and respect, bring in the preference to women.See, its great to talk of women being respected for just being human beings. But when humanity is at question in post 2012 world, today in 2013, being a 'human' is sadly not enough. 

Update: Not enough in 2015 yet. 

We should try to teach children to respect and care for everything. I remembered today(1Jan,2013), while wondering about these pointers and discussing with Mom, when she said, "It's not just rapes.It NOT JUST crime against women. It is HUMANITY that is no where to be seen.How can people  be SO cruel?".
So, do what my aunt had done. She used to talk to me in such a way that, I would care for not just living but non-living things as well! Like omg, don't hit the table so hard,  it will break and be hurt darling. 

We are getting materialistic, lets face it.We DONT care anymore.We need to CHANGE that.We dont wince when a dog gets hurt, as we used to in school.We were small.We were innocent.We need to bring back our FEELINGS.COMPASSION.EMPATHY back with a bang! 
In a widely neglected world, where women dont get a share AT ALL, preference is the need of the hour, at least in this crisis situation. This is definitely not the time, to say, 'Dont pull a chair for me, I am same as you.' It is the time to say, 'Come, join me as I kick and hit and still get abused.They are 6 against me.Come join me, you idiot, it's your responsibility. It could be your daughter or sister tomorrow!

3.   The magic of Raksha bandhan.
Bhai-Behen concept. Try to bring in the enthusiasm to love and protect the sister and the pride at being her protector. What do you do when your sister is fucking hot? Well, you don't fuck her! She. Is. YOUR. Sister

4.   Festivals, mythologies, stories.
All our festivals and fests have everything to do with women. Dussehra: Maa Durga who ended evil on the face of earth.
Diwali: Ramayan - "Sita". Sita was abducted, yes. But let’s only focus on “positive”. Focus on how so much effort was put to bring her back and protect her. 
Her own husband doubted her, when his countrymen spoke evil. Agni Pariksha is again male dominated. But let’s focus on her courage.
End was also tragic, she chose to die. But that was a matter of her self-respect. Even an all tolerating woman chose to die when not respected. Add that, Ram was all devastated after Sita died n realised his fault but it was too late. 
Do you have any links where I can relook at these mythologies.......Wiki, was the answer I got.
Let’s not debate here what exactly had happened. There are controversies to everything. There could be great stories in other religions too. I heard Muslims have this second longest chapter speaking of respecting women. 

The objective here is to make a mark. “Respect Women”. “Do not tolerate when someone misbehaves with a woman. DO SOMETHING.”

2015 Update: Try calling Maharashtra police on 100 emergency police dial. You will hear please press 1 for.. 2 for... 
Yes, and probably you would be raped by then. 

I know, you know, the challenge is to make those who don’t "know", illiterate people and our own children, brothers, and some people with great degrees who might SEEM to be knowing but don’t know.
I got some pointers. So, shared with you. Let’s start making a change. As I go over to implement these, take your time to add to these points. Yes, we will. We will make a difference. Positive difference!
Even as the justice protests are on and the revolution to change the society has started. Lets add ghee(fuel) to every burning fire of enthusiasm. Let every protest make a difference. Let’s add to our quality of life. Let’s make ours a safe society. We demand the government to provide COMPULSORY MARTIAL ARTS training, COMPULSORY SELF-DEFENCE training, Compulsory pepper sprays to be distributed, CCTV cams everywhere in public place, central monitoring, online FIRS, One point contact number, Special Security Force, along with more police patrols, once in every 10 min.

This is just a drop in the ocean. A little step at “HOW” to start changing the mindset of the young ones.
Add your thoughts in the comments and I will update them here.