To TRUST or not? Dealing with deception

Trusting others sets up a subconscious desire in them, to live up to your trust.

But kya aisa sahi me hota Hai? (Does it happen for real?)

Do you find it difficult to trust someone? Make that everyone. Have you been hurt before? (Hell, yeah! Or you are lying! And badly at that ;))

Has your trust been shattered so bad it is badly crying in pieces now scattered in every corner of the world? Had you expected way too much from that person?


Do you feel you've become a cynic who can never take a person for what she or he says? Because you already feel it is a lie anyways? Especially when someone tells you typical unbelievables like, "I've never had a boyfriend."
"I don't drink or smoke." Or when a man says he really values you more than you think and wants platonic time. ..just to hold hands and walk with you...to talk to you no matter what.

Sometimes with your trust being shattered so often you build this protective glass wall around you like a coccoon and though you may seem gullible as believing, you actually never do.
Then you end up being a cynic where even if something is indeed true you dont believe it anyways! End result? You are never happy.

I've found a new way out. I don't trust anyone.  But I allow them a benefit of doubt.
How would you feel if I never trusted whatever you told me? If I doubted every word you said?
Not very great, right?

Social dynamics is all about being what you wana have as a company or friend. You get what you give. Well often !
It becomes very difficult as people have different rules for themselves and for others.
Well, I for one hate it when even my mom doesn't believe I don't have a boyfriend. Haven't people heard about people who are commitment freaks? Hell, I'm not. Maybe I'm overtly romantic and too perfectionist. But I've seen different kinds of people and I accept them as they are.  So there are 1000 different reasons why someone may have chosen to be single all his life.

Similarly however untrue a statement may seem to be it could hell, yeah be true! Even if highly unlikely.
Now the idea is to be happy and be positive.
No, I'm not saying trust someone who says I'm not gonna kill you when he's holding a gun pointing towards you! Of course you've your instincts! Don't overdo anything. Which also means don't be overtly suspicious either!

OK.  That man said I love talking just about everything with you. Yes, you know he said that to every other girl. You know it. But that doesn't necessarily make it false. Hear it. Laugh it. Sleep over it. Move on! Oh yeah, baby.

When you already know it's a lie, there's no reason to be sad when it gets ugly. All you need to do is alter your reaction to it. Smile and take a compliment no matter how cheesy instead of defending 'That was obviously not really meant'.
Whatever!

So your friend told you something and your other friend told you something else. And well, of course your third friend from the same gang reconfirmed your gut feeling on who's lying and who's not and now apparently you are as lost as you were in the beginning before any of the eye witnesses joined bits and pieces of what had happened and who said what to whom when you weren't there.

So well, you weren't there. Yes. You'll never know. Face it. Easy, right? Can you breathe now?
Fights in big friends gang are inevitable. Subgroups are - yes, you guessed it - inevitable.
One can't know things when they happen before you- let alone when you aren't even present. So all your friends said your girlfriend had been messing around with your best friend or maybe they never wanted you to be with her in the first place.
What matters is that you shouldn't be taken for a ride. Which you wouldn't. As you are pretty intelligent to have your eyes and ears open. Give a benefit of doubt and try to take things as they are. Whose words have more logic?
Well, sometimes there is no logic.
Sometimes, more than one person have complete logic. It could either be this way or that way. Quite Possible. What do you do then? Whom do you trust?

It's your choice really. Taking a leap of faith is not easy. It is in fact the most difficult thing.
Show that you are taking a leap of faith and try that person first like that Barfi wala scene where he makes the cut tree drop to see if the friend actually runs away to save her own life.
Just show it. But don't actually take the leap of faith. This is a sadistic and selfish world where everyone is for themselves. Everyone wants to be the king and queen and wants the world to revolve around themselves. Balancing multiple egos for always achieving a win win is really tough.
That's a call that you really need to take while trusting someone.

But the point that I'm trying to make here is when you meet someone new you don't have his friend or anyone else to corroborate the stories he tells. Look okay even if it's unbelievable.  People do crazy stuff.  Benefit of doubt.  Who knows!

But if someone tells you shit like everyone else thinks like this, then open your eyes. S/he is not your eye. God gave you a pair of your own. Use that freaking gut feeling! Yes, that bloody intuition! Six sense? Research and science says it is not that filmy dialogue that our heart is always right but it is indeed a repository of decisions based on our past experiences and what we had learnt from them.
What is visible is often not true. Truth is not what is said but ofteb what is not said. It's Inception to the power infinity. Games within games within games. Oh yeah. Be the master of mind games. Let them feel they are winning.  But to see through the veil of people's faces and the masks they wear let's not forget to look at what's right in front of us.

Wait n watch. Non verbals give way 90% of what's true. What is the body language saying? Does the voice say more than what the WhatsApp did?  Does the voice modulation give away deception? What about the eyes? Facial expressions? Micro expressions? Is everything in sync? What is usually normal for that person? Is this the natural way he or any other normal person would have reacted in this situation? Is someone trying to show what you already felt or is it deliberate taking your mind against someone?
Back it up with actions. Small actions. Do they support their words?
If you have evidence for both sides being the judge is tough on which  theory to trust. Could the number of many possibly be mistaken on what you could only see?
Let time decide.  De stress. Losen up. Take it easy. But don't doubt everyone just because you've been hurt once. Keep trusting a little bit with a benefit of doubt cuz that's what spreads positive energy and that keeps you going everyday and makes you smile. Yes you. And that's the most important thing. Don't be shattered thinking you are being fooled even when you are not being. Be alert but be happy. Don't die before you have to. Be prepared for deceptions. But smile away with an open mind giving a duck attitude that will make the one in front repent if he or she ever tried deceiving you or break your trust. It's she or he who lost it. And you won. Even if she or he deceived....you got out of that friendship or relationship or whatever and you are the one who's saved from parasitic company. You are the one who should be partying! Cheers!!

P.S: How do you deal with trust issues? Let me know! ! Down there.!! Oh yeah, baby. The comments section!!

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